Well…This is Uncomfortable
One of the first books I finished this year was The Comfort Crisis by Michael Easter. I’ll caveat upfront that this isn’t a Christian book—I have many non-Christians here, and I know some of my book recommendations get skipped if they sound like they’ll be another “Jesus thing.” This is simply a solid, well-written read. When I finished it, I looked over at Brian and told him I thought my life might be changed forever. On the surface, it’s a fascinating story of Easter spending a month in the true Arctic of Alaska hunting caribou. But beyond the storytelling, the science behind what he writes about settled into my heart in a way I wasn’t expecting—especially as I’ve been slowly realizing that following Jesus is uncomfortable in ways I was never taught to expect.
I’m pregnant. An incredibly uncomfortable experience for anyone, but wow, uncomfortable takes on a new meaning in my pregnancies…for the entire 40 weeks. And yet I sat there, convicted and convinced I lead the most comfortable life imaginable. Except, I wasn’t reveling in this fact. I was concerned by it. Read the book, and you’ll understand why. The science is undeniable, comfortability at this cultural level is harmful, not helpful.
In fact, I realized, the thing that consistently makes me most uncomfortable? My walk with Jesus. I don’t think people advertise that when they’re telling you about the goodness of God (which is undeniable), or the tenderness of His spirit (which is true), or the power of cross (which actually, that one sounds a bit uncomfy).
When I consider God “plucking me out of darkness” I think I’ll be plucked out of discomfort or uncertainty and placed on the nice fluffy heavenly cloud of comfort and certainty. But, that’s not how this works, is it? If you’ve spent any time walking with Jesus you know this. And yet, because of the extreme comfort I’ve been born into and raised by (this is true culturally, not just based on privilege), I wonder if I’m doing things right in this walk with God. Because if I were, why would there be this level of discomfort? Certainly, I’m doing something wrong.
And here’s where some additional brain science from another incredible book, (“Switch On Your Brain” by Caroline Leaf) I read comes in. Our brains have a sort of “software” that’s wired into them between the ages of 0-12, and this software is made up of ridges and grooves. These R+G’s (no one calls them that) pretty much propel us, our beliefs, and our actions from then on. Yes, you, it doesn’t matter how old, if you have not very intentionally unwound or changed some of these thoughts, mindsets or beliefs—R+G’s if you will (stop trying to make R+G’s happen)—you are currently living out a “software” from when you were 12. This creeps me out.
This software is there to keep us in comfort, no matter how incorrect, false, dysfunctional, toxic, or unholy it is. Its main goal: maintain the status quo and create painstaking discomfort the further we get from it. It stays this way for the rest of our lives, unless we intentionally create new ridges and grooves. And these new ridges and grooves are much harder to create once we already have our initial “software” installed. We essentially have to undo old ridges and grooves to create new ones. It’s hard, consistent work. It’s uncomfortable work.
Because anything that would go against our brain’s software creates deep discomfort within us. Unless the software placed into us was 100% Gods kingdom, which let’s be so very for real, it’s far from it because we’re not perfect and neither was how any of us were raised…we will be utterly uncomfortable with what the Kingdom of God has to offer us. In many cases, our brain will scream and yell discomfort at us as we attempt to build new ridges and grooves of holiness—of God’s kingdom.
We have all sorts of defenses against this discomfort: offense, defensiveness, bargaining, disgust, pride, self loathing, drama, gossip, and so on and so on. It’s tough, we think these responses of ours are warranted—earned, in fact. But the reality is, they’re nothing more than your brain trying to keep you in line. These responses aren’t pointing you towards truth, they’re attempting to keep you in comfort.
Maybe this discomfort wouldn’t be so shocking to us if we weren’t in what Easter is calling a comfort crisis—if we weren’t raised in and by comfort we wouldn’t be so offended by it’s counterpart. Our software would have been wired (like it had been for centuries before) to help us understand that discomfort actually isn’t bad, that discomfort isn’t something to avoid or run from, but really, it’s just a part of the human experience. However, I don’t think many of us got that chip in our brains software development, culturally and functionally…that chip would’ve missed us.
Instead, we got the chip that says - discomfort = BAD. At all costs, seek comfort, and actually, the way our brain works, it likes this chip, it agrees with this chip, it wants to keep this chip around. And so we run, from anything remotely uncomfortable and unpleasant. We assume it’s not for us, not aligned, not at peace. Then this thought hit me, maybe the things about God’s kingdom that makes me uncomfortable have nothing to do with the truth or validity of them. Maybe it’s as simple as the software in my brain attempting to keep me in what it considers safe. I feel fear, that’s uncomfortable, so I run from that which I am afraid of. But, what if I was meant to press into that discomfort? What if that thing that I’m afraid of was never meant to make me feel fearful in the first place? What if my software just doesn’t match up and it’s trying to keep me in check?
This Kingdom of God groove? I’ve been working hard to dig it, and I have a feeling I’ll continue the dig for the rest of my life. To fill in the grooves that don’t belong and dig deep trenches—it takes consistency and time. I’ve leaned hard into the discomfort of this groove, and I can promise you, despite the software in your brain telling you otherwise, nothing is safer than God’s Kingdom. Not safe in the, you’ll never feel uncomfortable, nothing bad will happen to you, kind of safe, but in the you are completely free, fully alive, totally held kind of safe.
I think this walk with Jesus will continue to be a little bit uncomfortable, and as science would have it, I don’t think I’d have it any other way.
